12-13-2015 Day 1

Day 1: 我开始了我的positive emotion训练。今天执行得 很好。 我希望我能坚持完这个假期， 就差不多是21 天了， 能够改变我的生活， 我的习惯。 我要天天开心。 我要我的孩子们也天天高兴。 因为想想自己20年前应该是很聪明的人的，现在好像已经堕落了。 没有别的原因，大概就是因为不高兴的时候太多了。
Day 2: 今天很好。 positive emotion.  只有晚饭时被俩哇弄得高声了一些，没有发脾气。 只是希望工作效率再高点， 晚上不用加班。 明天还是喝一点咖啡吧。

Day 3: not too bad. I almost lost my temper in the morning. but fine.
Day4: i could not hold it today. they were too slow in the morning. I failed today. But I am resilient and bounce back to normal quickly. But I need to be better in the morning. I should not have lost my temper to my little girl. She is such as sweet girl.

Day 5: 12/17: I did not do a good job this morning as I pushed my little girl too  much even she was ok.   do not get stuck at that moment. Try to get relaxed and enjoy every moment with my kids. They are doing great.  Live with them for a longer goal. I had a wonderful lunch with my husband today.  This evening YY did an awesome job by finishing those cards. I will do a better job tomorrow.


Day 6:上山滑雪， 我有犯了几次错误。
Day16： 12/28： 度假回来了。 今天有犯错误了。 因为他们在牙医那里不好好说话， 我觉得有点丢人。 出来后对他们喉。 回到家后， 又因为感觉时间紧张， 因为想带他们去滑冰， 所以有吼。 下午， 姐弟俩做了杯糖水给我， 说， 妈妈因为你后我们了， 所以嗓子不舒服， 我们给你做了杯糖水。 真让我钻地缝。 所以努力作我的功课， 不生气。

positive emotion

positive emotion can expand our awareness. i.e. when you are having positive emotion, you are smarter as you can think better, have more ideas. On the other side, if you are having negative emotion, you may focus on only the negative thing, your brain does not function.
risillient: if you are a risillient person,

孩子们

弟弟记住了妈妈的电话号码， 给妈妈打电话，妈妈没有接起来， 弟弟留言： i love you, i love you so much... 妈妈听了以后很内疚， 因为当弟弟不好好吃饭时， 妈妈是真的和他急呀。
--弟弟学校是twin  day. 老师说，可以穿睡衣。 弟弟说他不想穿，妈妈说， 弟弟，  are yo sure? 你穿睡衣， 和你的小朋友是twin 呀。 弟弟说，sure.  i just want to be me .

Cyber security presentation from CDM

I went to Cyber security presentation held by CDM PTA. It was awesome and I got shocked actually by how unsecure the digital world is, and how much hard work I need to get my self prepared for my kids when they start to access the digital world.
Below is my notes.

First, how to guide while protecting your kids from the digital world. 
--make a contract with kids if you need to get your kid a phone. such as, kids need to get permission first before install any app on the phone. Can't load the phone to anyone.
--Nothing in the digital world is privacy.

Second, the black list:
--Vlogging
-Phloggin
-Mindcraft
-AnimalJam
Nametag
Playstation live, wattpad, creepypasta

i will get a PDF version of the presentation.

BTW this morning is not good. But first I need to be calm all the time. then I can do better with my kids.

positive emotion 2-- 11/29/15

-- I did not do a good job today at all. from early morning, I kind of started fighting with my husband. Mainly as long as i have sth. in my mind waiting me to do, I stared at only the goal. If the  goal is interrupted by anything,and this will put me in a bad temper.
 I had fight with him in the morning, and then before we left for ice skating, then after skating, almost all the time.
--Kids are doing good. But I did yelled at DD during lunch.

--Hang on there. Let me do better tomorrow.
11/30: kids are doing great today. the only one thing being not-perfect is they were slow when taking a shower.  I still was not good as I did not talk nicely to my husband when he tried to help me with sth. Also complained him not to help much the whole evening.
keep going, sweetie. You can make it. 

positive emotion

--Today we did hiking with our friends, Amy and Nicole family. My 2 kids did not listen and ran fast on the trail, Due to the fear of snakes, I became angry and scolded them in front of everyone. I regret-ed it and thought I could not do better if I did not become angry. I also learned sth. from John. Anything not serious with kids, trying to find an excuse for them and make it easy. Kids need to be happy.
--in the later part of the hiking, my 2 kids did very well. K played very well with their two girls while collecting Amber or SAP from trees. my little boy enjoyed hiking very well. I am so glad about it.
--after hiking we went to Souplantation for lunch. Two kids did well in eating.

--This evening with my little boy, I kind of lost my temper again to him because he did not finish his juice. Again, my bad.
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I started one online course--positive emotions.
Positive emotions can broaden your thought for that moment. For long term, it helps live longer with healthy living.

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I need to have positive emotions all the time. Only when I have positive emotions, I can cope with my kids. Otherwise i will be defeated by them surely.
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Yesterday morning, Marcus got up first. Then we heard the noise in the kitchen so my husband got up to help him get breakfast. But Marcus said, "Dad, go back to your bed and I will prepare you breakfast". Then he prepared milk and toast with raspberry jam for us. Bring everything upstairs in my bed. I appreciate it so much. I am proud of my son.
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My goal: have positive emotions all the time.

随笔11月12日

又不愉快了， 我都不能避免了。 先管好自己的嘴巴， 不说脏字了。
--丫丫参加了 女童军的活动， 卖一些坚果。 我们去给每个客户送去的时候， 爸爸建议写一张感谢卡，妈妈我给她买了花，每人一支。 结果，最后一个客户，又回送给我们一袋他们自己店里的面包。  当你给别人额外的服务时，你总会得到一些意想不到的。
--我在锻炼弟弟吃饭， 努力教他学会集中精力吃饭。
-P.S. Learn to be strong, Learn to take whatever in my life. I am the happist woman in the world.
-爸爸妈妈在楼上为一个问题争论， 弟弟上来啦， 问妈妈， are you mad at dad or are you sad at dad? because you were arguing.
--Just be the happist woman in the world.

回报

昨天早上，上学出门之前，两个孩子主动和妈妈先说， “have a nice day!" 女儿还跑回来给我个拥抱。 这让我很受用。 过去的两年里都是我先和他们说的。
今天早上，弟弟比较闹。 已经有一阵子没有这样了。 他缠我， 又闹我。
多想点好的吧， 多笑笑吧

我的日子

前几天， 我不高兴，又在纠结 老公到底爱我有多少。 （汗颜一下 都不惑了， 还在甚惑不解呢）。 老公又一次宠了我。 他会给我所有。
每天晚上， 他给我送水，送水果，记着要我吃维生素。 有多少人可以天天这样做？ 做一天两天， 一个月可以， 他可差不多是这么多年了。 我不记得什么时候开始的了。
从今天起， 我要彻底不惑， 无论发生什么。 我要彻底翻身做我的心情的主人， 不生气。 没什么大不了的。 即使老公做的和我想的不一样， 真的不一定是谁对呢， 即便当时我想是我对， 将来对孩子的影响， 有不知道是哪个对呢？ 在推一万步来说， 我不能生气， 我们可以晚上慢慢讨论任何问题， 效果更好。 从今天开始， 他是我的上帝。 我要记住这个，无论如何， 我都不生气， 我要最温柔。

母亲节随记-祝自己母亲节快乐

儿子早早迫不及待地给了我母亲节的礼物， 因为正好出差4天，回来后的早上，儿子早早爬起来，第一件事给了我他在学校准备的母亲节礼物。
星期天早上起来，是被儿子叫醒的，和儿子一起吃了早餐， 然后自己出去散步。 散步途中， 感觉自己很伟大，       因为自己推翻了能量守恒定律， 幸福是要晒的， 越晒， 幸福越浓越多。 美是要享受的，越享受愈多， 花是要看的， 越看越好看。
回来后，赶紧匆匆冲个凉， 冲凉之前交待爸爸要给孩子们准备好出门了， 因为姐姐有画课。    在冲凉的过程中， 感觉总惦着， 孩子还没准备好。 出来后，赶紧催一句， 果然没动静， 又出来催一句， 有人不耐烦了， 大声了， 我也忍不住了。 不过我还是忍着， 都40多了， 不想伤害俩娃。 结果，我忍着，别人还变本加厉， 继续来找我验证，是不是现在要带孩子准备出门， 废话， 我一直在喊着干嘛呢。 你自己不操心， 别人操心还得被另眼看待？ 我没回应，人家更牛了， 干脆不做了， 原因是我没有回答他。 然后又强词夺理地说， 他刚要做， 我插手了。 我插手就因为我说了一句， “先上厕所”。 这便是我插手了。 我真的晕了。 当时就扔下，         这日子没法过了。
后来带儿子出去散步， 这日子还得过， 我有俩娃。 散步途中， 人家打电话留言， 似乎全是我的错， 我不该生气， 我生气浪费了时间。  哇， 还有没有天理， 我生气， 谁先大声， 惹别人生气。 我如果不生气， 就是忍着。 无论你做什么， 不做什么， 我都忍着。
中午本想我和儿子自己吃， 却又舍不得扔下他们。 所以有打电话给他。
他一样是他， 我一样是我。
这就是我的母亲节。 我自己给我自己买了花。 他从来不会给我买花的。

活得有滋味

自己要有颗平静的心，才会影响到孩子学会有一颗平静的心。
孩子高兴了我就高兴了， 什么事都好办了。
认真工作， 认真生活。

随笔

刚才重新想写自己的博客， 看到上一次的标题居然是 “被女儿气哭了”。 好像已经是很久以前的事了。 女儿现在很乖， 很懂事。
最近没有写博客， 是有时候直接在微信上记下来了。
--早餐， 妈妈没有去打网球， 留下来给孩子做早餐。 是pancake.         妈妈今天好像开窍些， 不做那大大的， 省时间的， 做了些小小的， 但妈妈笨， 到面糊的时候， 做不出花样了， 画不出动物来， 所以随便到， 是什么就是什么， 就这样， 俩娃美得品头论足， 这个是兔子， 那个是小熊， 这绝对是考验娃的想象力 呀。 再接再厉，下次还要锻炼娃的想象力。
--春天来了妈妈种了向日葵， 玉米，还有些花。 种子发芽了， 姐弟俩很高兴看到新芽，尤其是姐姐，早上起来，一定要看一下。 每天看小牙长高了， 那个高兴呀。早饭桌上，弟弟说， 我们种牛奶吧。 妈妈说，怎么种？ 弟弟说， 把牛奶撒到土里，就好了。 妈妈正笑弟弟的异想天开，同时琢磨怎么回答弟弟。 姐姐说， 你得种牛， 然后才有牛奶， 牛奶是从牛肚子里挤出来的。
--弟弟最近开始自己读书了， 而且有点不读则已，一读一大串。 整句整句地读。 甚至连他不认识的词，他也可以看着那个词的样子， 去猜他的发音， 也猜了个百分5，60 了。他同时也开始了有认种文字的兴趣。

被女儿气哭了

--想写下来，写了标题，又不想写了。